2AM Venting

I just want to spill everything that's in my head right now. It's random. It jumps. You'll get confused. Just read.


I've been truly blessed with everything that I've ever encountered in my life thus far. I'm so grateful for my parents mostly for supporting me even when I know I've disappointed them with my decisions. I'm guilty for once taking them for granted. It's sad but it's true when they say, you only know what you have when it's gone. I haven't lost anything, but I'm now a couple more miles away from my parents than I'd like to be. I miss them and it hasn't even been a week yet. My dad called me this morning; I was too tired to pick up so I just waited for the voicemail...and of course he left one. I figured, when he leaves a message..it's usually an earful and for that assumption, I didn't bother listening to it. In the end, he just wanted to call to let me know how I was doing and told me something about my insurance. I'm a horrible child. I love my parents so much. I am still their little baby and yes, I still feel like it too. =)

I tend to jump into things too much, too soon, and when it's already too late..I finally realize what I had done. Such an eager dummy. Tsk. I'm always curious to see "what could happen" or "if anything would happen." I'm worse than Curious George. I dig my own graves. I have about 3 or 4 of them....pretty darn cool.

At this very moment, it seems very far from now when I'd finally feel that very special feeling again. I hate knowing that I'm going to end up hurting someone. DON'T ASK. I don't even know how I get there. Uggghhhhhh.

I'm very grateful for my friends..every single one of them.

Dreams; how they sometimes feel so real..hurts.

Okay. Good night.