Heavy Heart

The closer it comes, the more I fight to forget. These will be the longest and fastest weeks to come. I won't let it bother me. I will not let it affect me. I will play it out and laugh it off. These butterflies aren't doing me any good right now.

2AM Venting

I just want to spill everything that's in my head right now. It's random. It jumps. You'll get confused. Just read.


I've been truly blessed with everything that I've ever encountered in my life thus far. I'm so grateful for my parents mostly for supporting me even when I know I've disappointed them with my decisions. I'm guilty for once taking them for granted. It's sad but it's true when they say, you only know what you have when it's gone. I haven't lost anything, but I'm now a couple more miles away from my parents than I'd like to be. I miss them and it hasn't even been a week yet. My dad called me this morning; I was too tired to pick up so I just waited for the voicemail...and of course he left one. I figured, when he leaves a message..it's usually an earful and for that assumption, I didn't bother listening to it. In the end, he just wanted to call to let me know how I was doing and told me something about my insurance. I'm a horrible child. I love my parents so much. I am still their little baby and yes, I still feel like it too. =)

I tend to jump into things too much, too soon, and when it's already too late..I finally realize what I had done. Such an eager dummy. Tsk. I'm always curious to see "what could happen" or "if anything would happen." I'm worse than Curious George. I dig my own graves. I have about 3 or 4 of them....pretty darn cool.

At this very moment, it seems very far from now when I'd finally feel that very special feeling again. I hate knowing that I'm going to end up hurting someone. DON'T ASK. I don't even know how I get there. Uggghhhhhh.

I'm very grateful for my friends..every single one of them.

Dreams; how they sometimes feel so real..hurts.

Okay. Good night.

Life Lessons

Friends come and go.
Yes, even the really good ones..actually, let me correct myself..
that one I had "thought" was a good friend.
Your mistake. =)

Candy

Like I had just told one of my beautiful followers..
Time is like a sour-patch kid..
first it's sour, then it gets sweet.
Patience kills but it is kind.

With being very fortunate..

The funny thing is..I have no idea who these "people" are; and that my friend is the beauty of it. Whether you like it or not, there are those "people" who happily feed off your misery, sadness, and frustration. But let me tell you this..there is no greater motivation and reason to be successful and happy. So here's a message to all those people who can't stand the fact that my life is at it's peak of awesomeness, good luck at trying to ruin everything great that's happening to me at this very moment.You may here rumors here and there from other "people" so go ahead, do your research and figure out whether or not it's true. You have every right to believe what you want to believe. Assume away.

I've truly been blessed with everything. Life is so good to me and I can not be any happier with it.

A beautiful thing..

How do you rid of something that doesn't want to leave? The nuisance of an itch that keeps coming back and every time it makes a round, you scratch some more only to worsen the wound. It's your mind battling what your heart feels and when that happens, what do you listen to? It's bad for you. It has only the best intentions with the worse consequences and in the end, you already know you're going to lose. So why go through all that trouble to receive the shit end of the fucken stick? Your old friend, Stubborn. The inability, let me rephrase that..YOUR own self refusal to let those life-changing memories go. Pick a course and stay on it. You can't put each leg in two different boats and expect to stay afloat. Fuck you, gravity.

QUESTION!

What the hell do people want to read about?
Tell me and I'll work on a couple.

My mind is so blank at the moment.